The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Money

One of the most fascinating parts of financial coaching has very little to do with spreadsheets.

Eventually, almost every conversation arrives somewhere unexpected.

Not at the numbers.

At the story.


Someone says,

"I've just always been terrible with money."

Or,

"I could never afford something like that."

Or,

"My parents always said..."

And suddenly we're no longer talking about a checking account.

We're talking about identity.


The longer I do this work, the more convinced I become that many of our financial decisions are driven by stories we never consciously chose.

Stories inherited from our parents.

Our grandparents.

Our childhood.

Our first job.

A season when money was genuinely scarce.

A season when money disappeared unexpectedly.

A season when we felt embarrassed.

Or proud.

Or afraid.


The remarkable thing is that those stories often continue long after the circumstances that created them have changed.

Someone who grew up worrying about every grocery bill may still feel guilty spending money decades later.

Someone who experienced one painful investment loss may avoid investing for the rest of their life.

Someone who once struggled financially may continue behaving as though disaster is always one paycheck away—even after years of stability.

The story survives.

Even when the reality has changed.


To be clear, those stories aren't wrong.

In many cases, they were exactly what we needed at the time.

They helped us survive.

They taught us resilience.

They protected us.

The question isn't whether the story was useful.

The question is whether it's still useful.


I've started noticing this in my own life, too.

Not just with money.

With work.

With parenting.

With ambition.

With rest.

There are ideas I've carried for years that once served me well.

Some still do.

Others quietly expired while I wasn't paying attention.


I think that's part of growing up.

Not abandoning the lessons that shaped us.

But occasionally holding them up to the light and asking:

"Is this still true?"


That's one of the unexpected gifts of coaching.

Sometimes people don't need a new financial strategy.

They need permission to let go of an old story.

To stop seeing themselves as "bad with money."

To stop believing they'll always feel behind.

To stop assuming the future has to look like the past.


Money can't rewrite those stories.

But awareness can.

Because once we recognize that we're acting from an old script...

We get to decide whether we'd like to keep reading it.


So here's a question I've been reflecting on lately:

What's one story you've been carrying about money...

...that might deserve a second look?

Not because it was wrong.

But because you've grown.

And perhaps it's time for the story to grow with you.

In your corner,

— Andrew


P.S. One of the most meaningful moments in coaching is watching someone realize they aren't trapped by the financial story they've always believed about themselves. If you're ready to write the next chapter with more clarity and confidence, I'd love to help.

→ ​Schedule a Clarity Session​

 

Talk with Andrew

If you want help applying these ideas to your own finances or business, we can talk it through.

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