From Mine & Yours to Ours
This week, I’m turning the spotlight toward one of the most important — and often trickiest — money dynamics out there: partnership.
Whether you’re newly dating, married for years, or somewhere in between, managing money as a couple brings a whole new set of challenges (and opportunities). It’s not just about spreadsheets or savings rates — it’s about communication, trust, and building something together.
If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner were speaking different financial languages, this edition is for you.
Let’s dig in.
— Andrew
In This Edition:
✏️ Why managing money as a couple can feel so hard
❓ One question to spark alignment
📈 How one couple started fresh
⚡ Try this 30-min money meeting
✏️ One Big Idea: Love, Money & Growing Together
If you’ve ever found your financial rhythm on your own — tracking spending, building up savings, staying consistent — you know how much work that takes. It’s a quiet kind of discipline. A personal system built through trial and error. And honestly, it’s something to be proud of.
But here’s a secret: Being great at money as an individual is not the same as being great at money in a partnership.
It’s not better or worse — just different.
Because once you’re building a life with someone else, you’re not just managing money — you’re managing each other’s values, priorities, fears, dreams, and habits. That means the tools that worked for you solo don’t always carry over. What matters most now isn’t just discipline — it’s communication. Collaboration. Trust. The ability to slow down and make decisions together, even if you’d move faster on your own.
It’s a new chapter. And like any new beginning, it comes with its own learning curve.
One of the biggest shifts I see couples navigate is this: how to start something new together, even if one (or both) of you already has a system that “works.”
That system might be solid — but your life is changing. And if you’re serious about growing together, it means starting fresh. Revisiting the basics, together. Not because you’ve done something wrong — but because a strong partnership deserves a strong foundation.
That foundation starts with a shared vision. Not just for your money — but for the life you’re building. From there, everything else flows:
Where should your income go each month?
What do you want to save for?
How do you feel about debt?
What kind of home do you want to build?
How much flexibility do you want in your work, your time, your lifestyle?
Once that vision is clear, the logistics start to matter: which bank accounts you’re using, how credit cards are managed, where and how you track your spending, how retirement contributions should change, and how you’ll check in together without it turning into a fight or a shutdown.
This is square one — but it’s not basic. It’s essential.
It’s how couples build trust, alignment, and momentum that lasts.
And just to be clear: The goal isn’t to get to third-decimal-place-precision on your savings rate. It’s to be able to talk about this stuff at all. To create the kind of relationship where these conversations feel possible, even welcome. That’s the win.
❓ Money Question: “How should we split expenses as a couple?”
This is one of the most common questions I get — and it doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer.
Some couples go fully joint, others split everything 50/50, and some use a “yours/mine/ours” model that blends individual autonomy with shared priorities. All of these can work. What matters more than the structure is the communication that supports it.
The real goal?
Make sure both partners feel respected, seen, and empowered. Make sure you’re funding the life you both want — not just defaulting to the path of least resistance.
If you can talk about money openly and build a system you both understand, you’re already ahead of the game.
📈 Client Highlight: Starting fresh — together.
A couple I recently coached was getting serious — they’d just moved in together, were both earning solid incomes, and had big goals for their future. But every money conversation felt tense.
Why?
Because they were both managing their finances like individuals, not partners. They had different bank accounts, different budgeting apps, and completely different priorities. When they tried to sync up, it felt messy — like trying to plug one system into another that was never designed to match.
So we paused. We set aside what they’d each been doing separately — and started from scratch.
They built a shared vision, opened joint accounts, merged their budgeting into one YNAB file, and made intentional decisions about what they’d keep separate. It wasn’t about “doing everything together.” It was about designing a plan that worked for them.
Now, they check in every two weeks — short, simple meetings with snacks and a shared Google Doc. And for the first time, their money is actually working for the life they’re building.
⚡ Quick Tip: Start with one shared goal.
Before you overhaul your accounts or open a joint credit card, pick one shared financial goal to work toward — together. Maybe it’s saving for a trip. Paying off a credit card. Or building a starter emergency fund.
Keep it simple. Something you can both feel excited about.
Then sit down together and ask:
How much do we want to save or pay off?
What’s our monthly target?
Where will we keep track of progress?
This isn’t just about the goal itself — it’s about learning how to do money together.
Small wins build confidence. And confidence is what helps couples go from reactive to intentional.
Want to talk with Andrew directly?
Schedule a 30-minute Free Clarity Session to get expert eyes on your financial questions and explore what support might look like.
→ Book your Free Clarity Session
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